Since we all know its been a while let’s cut to the chase !
So for the past couple of days, I’ve been thinking about the question and have been talking about it and have asked certain people this question just to pick their brain and I’ve gotten some pretty interesting answers… Why is it easier to hurt the ones we love than the ones we don’t know? Or simply, why do we hurt the one we love? And answers I’ve gotten were: “We take the ones we love for granted. We place expectation on that they’ll forgive us” -this particular answer I challeneged and replied “Yes, we do that but why is that an acception?”, other answers were: lack of respect, lack of consideration, and that often times it’s not intentional and others it is, but to me I wanted to get deeper (of course, always making something deep ha)… “yea, I agree, yea, we do that..” but the answer to why still wasn’t being answered. Then it hit me: that maybe the person that’s doing the hurting doesn’t realize, sometimes, they are hurting the other person and/or they just don’t know how to reciprocate the love, respect, and consideration back like they should.
In relationships when it comes down to it people immediately come with the conclusion that “the guy/woman is probably not being loved at home” or s/he’s been exposed to different formalities of how to treat a wo/man in the house and have a disrespectful father at home or doesn’t have one at all; but to be honest it can be the same person that has both of their parents or lives with a single one who knows how to treat a wo/man and the person still treats the other bad… FORGETTING that maybe the wo/man have had many experiences with significant others that haven’t been the best and experience a lot more betrayal than love and hasn’t recieved the type of love, respect or whatever else needed that should’ve been given. I’ve had many people tell me that they’re not used to a person who is as understanding as I am, a listener, or honest and open as I am and that it scares them. Makes them feel like I’m going to do the damage (when in the end I get hurt first and the damage is done to me). One time, I was told that I was very passionate, then when I was being described -I was flattered, but when I reflect back and think of the other times I’ve been described as this crazy, passionate person they weren’t ready for my kind of language of Love I should say. And that wasn’t the first time I’ve been called that it was just at that moment I haven’t heard it in a while… but that comes to show how people really don’t pay attention to different mechanisims that they bring forth in relationships from their past. But I see, I know …
You also grow in and from love by watching your parents, or seeing how they love on other people. Those are your lessons that you are being taught while getting older, but are you paying attention on the lessons on what not to do to the person you love, and how to fix it when you do hurt them? Acknowledge the good and precious moments, but pay more attention to the hard/ hurtful moments in relationships. That’s what makes you grow in love and makes you become stronger.